Hello.
Dear readers,
My name is Manny Ramirez Fan. But, its not my real name. Im new to the SoBros Network.com and I have a real important and dangerous job so I have to conceal my real identity. I also got kids and I dont want to expose them to the risks of the backlash my hot takes may get.
I cant say where I work but Daryl if your are reading, whats up. You always told me I had great takes on sports, politics, wrestling, history, and especially baseball. Specifically, Don Muraco, too. I do think Don Muraco is the greatest wrestler of all time.
I listened a lot to SoBros Network podcasts (my favorite was always the Power Hour) and I always thought that those guys were real funny but what they lacked was a real telligent pespective. They make lots of jokes but sometimes the people want something that makes us think. so i applied to work for them, and they said they would love to have me so here i am. Rock you like a hurricane. lol.
For my first piece, id like to honor the great American history of the President. Since this is the only country in the world that reckonizes democracy, the term ‘president’ was invented here and is distinctly American.
While talking about politics can be divisive, I ensure you that Im here only to unify popel. A lot like my heroes Manny Ramirez and Don Muraco.
For my first piece, i want to do something not divisive. instead of braking down policies of former presidents on Presidents’ Day, I will simply rank the top 10 Presidents that would be great bros for my boys and me. This is like to say “who’s a President that would be fun to grab a beet with?” Because everyone always says they want to grab a beer with someone who looks and acts cool. I dont want my kids to think this because they are kids and kids should not drink alcholog. but, people who drink alcohol are real cool.
Without further to do, here’s is my list of the top 10 bros as U.S. President ever!
10. FDR – You have to put FDR somewhere on this list because of how nice he was and all the good things he did for the people. but, man he would be a real hassle to take out on a Saturday night. its because of his legs that didnt work. its a shame but i bet thats why no one really wanted to hang out with him in his later years according to history.
9. Ronald Reagen – Reagen was awesome man he got shot and survived. and, on top of all that, he was real good with money and fixed the economy. But, i cant rank him too high on this list because he seemed a little too serious at times and thats never fun when youre pounding beers.
8. George Washington – Washington ton was a real man of action. He really rallied the troops and won our independence so i guess he has to have a spot on this list somewhere. but he definitely gets his ranking docked for that stupid hairdo.
7. Lyndon B. Johnson – LBJ had a big pecker and people talked about how hed go around thunking it on tables in the white house. my friends and i never do that but we could use a guy in the rotation who does. that kind of confidence is why inspires people.
6. Benjamin Franklin – A lot of people use electricity to hang out these days. well guess what? you’d never be able to if Benjamin Franklin didn’t fly his kite a little too close to the moon. The moon is practicely a big ball of electricity and his kite got within 50 feet of the moon’s aura which is the radius at which electricity comes out. so, if he didn’t do that, then wed have no electricity.
5.Barak Obama – I know Obama is technically a muslim born in africa and i still haven’t ruled him out as the antichrist, but hes the closest thing we have to The Rock when it comes to Presidents so i have to put him on here.
4. Thomas Jefferson – Tomas Jefferson bought Louisiana himself out of his own pocket and any man with that kind of money you know is good for a night out on the town. i hear he has lots of women on his staff too so i bet you know what that means. hes must of ben like the Ric Flair of Presidents.
3. George W. Bush – He speaks like a everyday joe. i dont know if hes a real lizard or not but i think conspiracy theories are crazy anyway and but if he is a lizard then lizard are cool too. I use to catch them a lot when i was a kid but now im 62 years old.
2. Bill Clinton – Can you imagine the pussy youd get hanging out with willy clinton/ I bet its a real party when hes around. I bet hes a real bros bro and thats why i have him at number 2.
1. Teddy Roosevelt – Theres no other President who could be number 1. for a simple reason, TDR seems real fun. He likes to hunt bears and is very courageous and is relatedable and down to Earth.
Thats all for my top 10 us presidents thanks for reading and ill post again soon.
Stoney, can you just write my bio for me? (Editor’s note: no)
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