Courtesy of TSN Canada – “LAS VEGAS — These Knights will be Golden.
As gold confetti blasted into Sin City’s neon-drenched night sky, owner Bill Foley dubbed the NHL’s 31st franchise the Golden Knights, finally giving the first professional sports team to call Las Vegas home a name and identity.
I could not be rolling my eyes any harder. The lack of creativity here is astounding. We have bears, tigers, lions, and knights all over the country in all facets of American sport. It’s just too easy, and I get that they can’t come out swinging with an overly aggressive or inappropriate team name, but there’s a way to engage an audience and get people excited. Does Golden Knights do that? I don’t think so.
Every sports team in America should be taking notes from the New Orleans Baby Cakes right now.
Plus, how are the people at UCF feeling tonight? Think Bill Foley is cutting them a check? NO PROBABLY NOT. So unimaginative, but thankfully, that’s what we specialize in here at the SoBros Network: creativity, outside-the-box thinking, and love-making.
We’re idea people, and we have plenty of ideas (ten, to be exact) as to how this could’ve been avoided:
10. Las Vegas Dice – It’s kind of lame, but I’m just trying to think of gambling-related stuff. Leave me alone, I’m just getting this shit started.
9. Las Vegas Livestock – okay, so a lot of animals are taken. You can’t go Hogs, Broncos, or Gamecocks, so why not take all of the damn barnyard animals and combine them into one?
8. Las Vegas Bunnies – Well, I’ve heard there’s a HBO show about this Bunny Ranch place…I don’t know a single thing about it, so I can’t elaborate. I just think this might be relevant.
7. Las Vegas Demogorgans – It’s frightening. It’s topical. It’s the best of every world and the upside-down.
6. Las Vegas Degenerates – I’ve never been, but I hear the town is full of degenerates. Plus, you could get D-Generation X to serve as mascots. Triple H and Shawn Michaels may be busy, but I’m sure X-Pac is free.
5. Las Vegas Vegasbombs – There’s nothing that sets off a party like a Vegasbomb – it’s relevant to the market, and it’s original. It’s a win-win all around.
4. Las Vegas Murderers – A bit aggressive, maybe – I’ll acknowledge that. But, just think of the intimidation factor here. How would you feel if you had to fly in to play the Murderers?
3. Las Vegas Rats – I can’t think of any Rats in professional sports, so Vegas could’ve cornered the market there. Plus, hockey is a nasty sport full of nasty guys delivering nasty hits. Is there an animal more synonymous with ‘nasty’ than a rat?
2. Las Vegas Gamblers – I get it – the NHL doesn’t want to condone this sort of debauchery, but there’s an easy workaround here. It’s a salute to Kenny Rogers, and not the act of betting. Can you imagine a slick Kenny Rogers logo?
1. Las Vegas Aces – This was too easy, and they just missed their shot. I don’t even care that this is apparently some sort of minor league basketball team in Las Vegas – this was the logical choice, and Foley blew it.
Let this serve as a cautionary tale to Seattle, Kansas City, Quebec, Toronto, and all of the other cities looking to get the next NHL franchise: be original.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo, @Bama_Hammer
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