The Stoney Keeley Vision Board

Since I was voted as the runner-up for Best Columnist in the Nashville Scene’s ‘Best of Nashville’ Awards in 2020, I have realized that I am quite the influential tastemaker. I have realized that there are thousands of people, maybe even millions, around the world who want to live life just like me so that they can get closer to realizing their dreams of being a degenerate blogger on the internet. To help these people inch slightly closer to their dreams of being just like me, I decided to put a list together of all of the brands and items that define me. Of course, you could say brands and items don’t define people, but honestly, that’s just something losers say. It’s not very capitalist of you, and we all know that if you aren’t a capitalist in this society, you simply will not get ahead. You are welcome for all of the success that is about to come your way by adhering to the items on this vision board.

The Stoney Keeley Vision Board

  • Yankee Candle – You have to set an atmosphere for success. That includes fragrance. Make yourself feel one with your environment with Yankee Candle.
  • Better Homes & Gardens – Visualization is key. Can I afford to perform all of the renovations that I see in Better Homes & Gardens magazine? Absolutely not. But, can I visualize that? Yes. Yes I can. And, then I can cook some of the recipes in the back to unwind a bit.
  • Tennessee Titans – Being a Titans fan builds character. I don’t care what anyone says.
  • Literature – Big time literature guy. Read lots of books. Ray Bradbury, Ernest Hemingway, Carl Hiaasen, Tim Dorsey, Stephen King, and Hunter S. Thompson all take up prime real estate on my book shelf.
  • Harry’s – Smell good, feel good…I believe that is the saying. Harry’s has the best quality body wash on the market for its price point.
  • Pilot G2s – The greatest pen ever invented will surely set you up for success.
  • Tobacco pipe – It’s not good for you, but you’ll look distinguished. And, it smells better than any other form of smoke.
  • Real notebooks – Hand write stuff. It feels better.
  • Old Spice – The original if you can still find it. Classic man scent. It ages gracefully. It will make you feel timeless.
  • Panda Express – Bigger plate with chow mein, orange chicken, Beijing beef, and kung pao chicken. Add two egg rolls. That’s the move. I didn’t get to almost 300 pounds eating like a baby.
  • Tubi – It’s underrated. Support the underdog. One of the most stacked collections of movies in streaming.
  • Starbucks – It’s basic, but it’s fuel.
  • Electric Tea Kettle – You still have to take time to unwind at the end of the day, and an electric tea kettle with some quality leaves will achieve that quicker than anything else.
  • Hawaiian shirts – Be different. Express yourself through various patterns.
  • Sweatpants – The tighter, the better. Let that dickprint establish dominance.
  • Criterion Collection – Don’t be a bitch and start your collection with Drive My Car.
  • Peeps – Every social circle needs a Peeps guy in it.
  • Frontier Soups – become a soup collector. They’re hard to find. An authentic original, if you will.

Good luck out there, future ambitious Stoneys.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, second on Football & Other F Words, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

Elsewhere on the SoBros Network: Check out Stacking The Inbox for premium coverage of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft. Subscribe to Nashville Movie Dispatch for all of our movie content. We get weird on Phone It In, the history podcast that explores legendary tales, important historical figures, and events.

Podcast: Drinking With… Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Pour up the Welcome to Hollywood cocktail and join McCash as he relives this Robert Downey Jr. renaissance piece alongside Brandon and Stoney. Today, we’re drinking with… Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

Welcome to Hollywood

Ingredients

  • 1 ounce raspberry liqueur
  • 1 1/2 ounces of vodka
  • 3 to 5 ounces pineapple juice, to taste
  • Pineapple wedge, garnish

Instructions:

  • Pour liquors into a Collins glass filled with ice
  • Fill with pineapple juice
  • Garnish with pineapple slice

Keep up with all of our work covering the world of movies on Nashville Movie Dispatch. Listen Drinking With… on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you take in your podcasts! Just search for ‘Drinking With…’ and you’ll find us. Or, just smash the play button on the embed below!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, second on Football & Other F Words, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

Elsewhere on the SoBros Network: Check out Stacking The Inbox for premium coverage of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft. Subscribe to Nashville Movie Dispatch for all of our movie content. We get weird on Phone It In, the history podcast that explores legendary tales, important historical figures, and events.

History Lesson: Samhain

Many cultures and religions around the world celebrate in some fashion on October 31st, but what we know today as Halloween began as Samhain.

Ancient peoples were extremely superstitious and for good reason. Without science, the world is a scary and confusing place. Why did someone get sick? Probably an evil spirit or hex! Your baby won’t stop crying and you’re having difficulty forming a bond? That’s because it’s a Changeling – a fairy child left in place of the stolen human one! No one gets ill from bathing and/or drinking from this (naturally purified) spring? It must be healing magic! To the ancient Gaelic Pagans, things just happened in the natural world, without much rhyme or reason, and their rituals and superstitions gave them a sense of control.

Fall and winter were always an especially rough time, with falling temperatures, rampant sickness, and dying crops. To increase their chances of survival in the coming months, the Pagans took part in cleansing rituals and tried to appease the spirits who roamed the Earth alongside them for twenty-four hours, when the sun set on October 31st…

Pronounced “SOW-in”, because the Gaelic language makes no sense, Samhain is one of four Gaelic seasonal festivals and marks the end of the harvest season and the beginning of the darker half of the year. Celebrations included slaughtering livestock and preparing it for storage, bringing the cattle down from the summer pastures, and interacting with the spirit world.

People left out food, drink, and other offerings for the Aos Sí, which are the inhabitants of the coexisting spirit world. Typically they lived underground in Fairy Hills, but during this liminal time they roamed free with humans. The spirits consisted of demons, mischievous fairies, gods and goddesses, nature spirits, leprechauns, banshees, and even ancestors –and you wouldn’t want to offend them. Especially, if you’re livelihood depended on their capricious temperaments.

The idea seems whimsical now, but it was quite horrifying to people who truly believed demons, trolls, and witches were on the prowl. If someone had to venture out during Samhain, gods forbid, they disguised themselves in order blend in with the wandering spirits. Sometimes people in costumes would accept the offerings of food and drink on behalf of their ancestors. It’s clear to see how this eventually evolved into a nightly celebration of dressing up and going door to door shouting “trick-or-treat”. The tradition isn’t too far removed from the original intent either – if our candy selection satisfies the ghouls then hopefully they won’t smash our pumpkins or throw toilet paper in our trees.

Other Samhain traditions involve lighting a bonfire for protection and cleansing, placing a candle in an open westward facing window to guide the lost spirits, or slaughtering a rooster and sprinkling its blood on the threshold of your home. With the coming of Christianity, Samhain and All Hallows’ Eve combined to officially become the Halloween we know today. So whether you’re staying in and watching horror movies, taking your kiddos out for candy, or dressing up for a party – make sure you leave offerings for the things that go bump in the night, light up your Jack-o-lanterns to scare away evil spirits, and sacrifice that rooster responsibly!

Image courtesy of Neven Krcmarek on Unsplash!

Podcast: Reviewing ‘The Only Living Pickpocket in New York’

Brandon Vick reviews the John Turturro-led The Only Living Pickpocket in New York, for which Turturro is getting some serious awards buzz, on this bonus episode of The Vick’s Flicks Podcast.

Keep up with all of our work covering the world of movies on Nashville Movie Dispatch. Listen to The Vick’s Flicks Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you take in your podcasts! Just search for ‘Nashville Movie Dispatch’ and you’ll find us. Or, just smash the play button on the embed below!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, second on Football & Other F Words, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

Elsewhere on the SoBros Network: Check out Stacking The Inbox for premium coverage of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft. Subscribe to Nashville Movie Dispatch for all of our movie content. We get weird on Phone It In, the history podcast that explores legendary tales, important historical figures, and events.

Book Club: ‘The Halloween Tree’ by Ray Bradbury

To this day, Ray Bradbury is my favorite author. With savory prose and big ideas, I haven’t read a Bradbury yet that I didn’t like. In Dandelion Wine, he perfectly captured the essence of youthful summers. In The Halloween Tree, he does the same for Halloween. This instantly became a book I aim to add to my Spooky Season rotation as often as I can read it. Few stories capture the magic of Halloween for a child as this one.

Courtesy of Goodreads:

A fast-moving, eerie tale set on Halloween night…

Eight costumed boys running to meet their friend Pipkin at the haunted house outside town encounter instead the huge and cadaverous Mr. Moundshroud. As Pipkin scrambles to join them, he is swept away by a dark Something, and Moundshroud leads the boys on the tail of a kite through time and space to search the past for their friend and the meaning of Halloween.

Maybe the most endearing quality of The Halloween Tree is that it’s just 145 pages. Theoretically, if you didn’t have a whole lot going on, you could probably slam this thing on Halloween before the kids step out to trick or treat. Or, more likely, if you’re a grown ass adult with a real job like me, you can sprinkle it out across a few days leading up to Halloween. But, Bradbury certainly gets the vibes right with this novel and immerses readers in an atmosphere that exudes ‘Halloween.’

The plot does move rather quickly, but it’s not so winding that one cannot keep up. As is the case with most of Bradbury’s work, the prose is tight, the characters are memorable, and there’s plenty of meaning to glean from it. But, where I think this novel truly excels is in how it is a sort of celebration of the holiday itself. Bradbury gives us a crash course on Halloween and how it came to be what it is known as today, making The Halloween Tree equal parts history lesson and fun, festive Halloween tale.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, second on Football & Other F Words, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

Elsewhere on the SoBros Network: Check out Stacking The Inbox for premium coverage of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft. Subscribe to Nashville Movie Dispatch for all of our movie content. We get weird on Phone It In, the history podcast that explores legendary tales, important historical figures, and events.

The Stoney Keeley Vision Board
Podcast: Drinking With… Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
History Lesson: Samhain
Podcast: Reviewing ‘The Only Living Pickpocket in New York’
Book Club: ‘The Halloween Tree’ by Ray Bradbury

Trending Posts

The Stoney Keeley Vision Board
Podcast: Drinking With… Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
History Lesson: Samhain
Podcast: Reviewing ‘The Only Living Pickpocket in New York’